"He Surely Does Not Drink"

I do not recall when this incident happened but it was easily at least 20 years ago. 

My parents were travelling by train. They had tickets in AC First Class. My father, back then a serving army officer, used to carry a bottle or two of alcohol on most of his trips so he could have a drink with friends or family at the destination.

On the same train, a cousin of mine and his wife (my Bhabhi) were also travelling. They were in a different class and compartment. However, when my cousin found out that my father - his maternal uncle or Mama - was travelling on the same train, he became excited because he knew that my father was likely to have something 'interesting' in his luggage.

AC First Class in Indian trains is comfortable and does not have too many passengers. It has either a cabin, which is a larger four-berth compartment designed for families or small groups, or a coupe, which is a private two-berth compartment for solo travelers or couples/duos. Once the journey started, my parents settled into their cabin.

After some time, my cousin and Bhabhi came over. The four of them started chatting. I am not sure if there were any other people in the cabin. 

After a while, my father offered him a drink. My father usually did not drink on trains because it is illegal and can make other passengers uncomfortable. The fact that he offered a drink makes me think there was probably no one else in the cabin. I could be wrong though.

After a few drinks, my cousin became a little high and started opening up about everyone in the family. The conversation drifted towards who among the younger generation drank. Most of the cousins were adults by then, and my father knew that everyone must be drinking. Still, it was not yet 'publicly  known information'. 

More than anyone else, my father wanted to know about me. 

One by one, my father started asking about everyone, and my cousin, in a 'happy state by now', was more than willing to answer. He told my father who drank what, how much each person drank, what each one did when drunk, funny anecdotes... every secret was coming out.

My father encouraged him, enjoyed the details, and laughed at the incidents. He asked about everyone except me.

Then, towards the end, my father made a statement.

"Vini nahi peeta hoga". (Vini surely does not drink). 

*Vini is my nickname. 

My father did not question. He just made a statement and showed pride. I do not think he actually believed it. It was a ploy to bring out an honest reaction.

My cousin, a few years older than me and generally a mature guy, saw the trap and said, "Yes, you are right. Vini does not drink." 

I wish!

So what did he do?

My cousin laughed mockingly at my father's statement and said:

"Vini nahi peeta hoga!!!??? Vini tanker hai...TANKER!!!" (Vini does not drink!!!??? He is a TANKER!!!)

* In slang, the term "tanker" refers to a heavy drinker or an alcoholic.

The next time I spoke to my father, he asked, 'Suney tum TANKER ho" (Heard that you are a tanker). I was taken aback!

Later my mother narrated the entire incident and I came to know how my cousin broke the bro code! 😠😡

Dagger in the back

I once believed I could read people the way sailors read stars.

So when the room grew heavy and my name became a measure of efforts and contributions, I expected the familiar constellations to hold.

• The newest bond became a shield. Defended me. Even fought for me. 

• The classmate/friend took a swipe at me.

• But the oldest bond - the one that I trusted and thought I understood - joined hands with the classmate/friend. 

This is when I have been safeguarding the interest of these two very individuals to the extent possible and create a balance that makes sense for everyone!

Funny how betrayal is rarely loud. Sometimes, it arrives as silence where 'friendship' should have spoken.

Learnt a valuable life lesson today. And I did not even know about this battle!!

(Disclaimer: This is not a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely intentional)

Et Tu, Brute?

I recently ordered a grapefruit from one of the instant delivery apps . In the picture it looked bright, juicy, and extremely inviting. I also realized that I might never have actually tasted a grapefruit before. Since I love citrus fruits, I decided it was time to try one.

Within minutes, the fruit arrived.

I requested my wife to bring it to me because I was eager to try it immediately. She went to the kitchen with the fruit and returned a moment later with it neatly cut into smaller portions and arranged on a plate. 

She placed it in front of me and casually said, “It’s very tasty. sweet and refreshing.”

That made me suspicious.

You see, I have a long history of playing a particular trick on her. My wife absolutely hates sour food. If she ever asks me to taste an orange or a grape first she tries it, I will take a bite and - even if it is painfully sour - I would calmly say that it is very nice. She then takes a bite and immediately regrets trusting me. The expression that follows is priceless.

So when she told me this grapefruit was “sweet,” I was not entirely convinced.

At that exact moment, my daughter walked into the room. She saw the plate and said she wanted to try some. She took a small piece, popped it into her mouth, and instantly said, “Wow! This is really nice. Very sweet.”

That changed everything. I will ALWAYS doubt my wife. But my daughter, my little angel, my little bundle of innocence? NEVER

Feeling reassured, I picked up a large piece and confidently put the entire thing in my mouth.

The next few seconds were… unforgettable.

The fruit was extraordinarily sour. Not mildly sour. Not slightly sour. It was the kind of sour that makes your eyes close automatically, your teeth clench, and your entire face rearrange itself into a very dramatic expression.

When I finally recovered and opened my eyes, I looked at my wife.

Then at my daughter.

Both of them were laughing uncontrollably.

At that moment, I realized something historic had occurred. My daughter had joined forces with my wife. This was not just a prank. This was a carefully coordinated act of deception.

This incident should always be known as one of the greatest betrayals ever executed in the history of mankind.

I may have lost this round, but the citrus wars are far from over.

Unfair

I know you liked the work. You have said that to another person and I know about it. 

I know you have used the work. 

I know you have also mentioned that you would use it in other forums as well.

I know that you have been giving credit to another person for all the work. The other person did half the work but so did I. I deserve half the credit.

You should realize that the work was much more difficult for me as I did not have much background. Hence, I had to work 2-3 times more in order to put together something that will make you look good. I did not have any bandwidth yet I did the work. I am still trying to overcome the backlog it has caused.

And when I asked you whether you liked the work, you sound aloof and say that it was 'okay' and you were not particularly satisfied but decided to use it since the audience did not have much idea anyways. This when you have already mentioned that the work was also used in another forum and it was appreciated.

I worked through the night to get this work done for you and you do not have anything to say? 

Just watched a movie......"Dear John". A friend told me that its a famous movie but he does not want to watch it as it is "kind of emotional" one. Thats exactly the reason why I watched the movie.

Its a beautiful movie. It evoked various emotions. But at the same time, it brought back some old memories and opened some old wounds. It made me look back towards the past....at a particular phase of my life that ended with some unanswered questions. Now, I do not seek answers to those questions. I just wish that the phase had never come in my life.