A Storm, Some Eggs and a Lesson in Leadership

It is a story of a Captain of a small fishing vessel and a deckhand (fisherman or crew member). Or is it a story about leadership? Or maybe about practicing what one preaches? Not sure...it is one of those, or maybe all of them. You guys decide.

The Captain was also the owner of the vessel. He and the deckhand were the only members of the crew.

The deckhand loved and cared about the vessel. There were multiple reasons for that. We will not go into all of them. Let's just say that the deckhand felt obliged and duty-bound, as his employment on the vessel helped him pay his bills and take care of his family. He felt a sense of obligation. He really wanted the vessel, the Captain and their fishing business to flourish.

Everything was going well. However, one day, the vessel got into troubled waters. There was a heavy storm that left the vessel badly bruised. There was considerable damage, but the most devastating was the failure of the navigation and communication systems. Without them, taking the vessel to its destination was a difficult ask. The Captain and the deckhand tried to navigate based on their judgement, but soon realized that they were completely lost...and literally at sea!

Days went by. They kept trying to navigate the vessel towards the shore.

After a few days, the Captain walked up to the deckhand and told him that he would try to repair the broken systems and also try to navigate the vessel using ancient methods, with the help of the stars. This would take time, but it was possible. However, the Captain added that the bad news was that they were almost entirely out of food and water!

The Captain said that he had been rationing his own intake of food and water for days. However, they had now reached a critical stage. He casually said that if the deckhand could go without food and water for 6 days, they might have a chance, as the remaining stock of eggs and water could be saved for an absolute emergency. (For food, they used to carry only eggs, as they were easier to store and cook in the small kitchen of their vessel.)

The deckhand was shocked. Did the Captain seriously expect him to go without food and water, or was he merely joking to lighten the mood? He was clueless. The deckhand had never really looked into the exact stock position, so he had no idea that the situation was that bad. He also felt bad for the Captain since the Captain, by his own admission, had been rationing his consumption. He did not want this fate for himself, the Captain or the vessel.

The deckhand was not sure what to make of it. He thought that surviving at sea without food and water for days would be extremely difficult. But what choice did they have? And he was not even sure if the Captain actually meant it.

The next day, the Captain said it again. Casually. But this time, it weighed a little heavier.

While the deckhand had his doubts and was scared, he started preparing himself mentally. He told himself that if the situation was truly this dire and the Captain was leading by example, he should, and must, gladly do the same. The deckhand was not sure if he can go completely without food and water but he started preparing himself for rationing his intake too. After all, they both had to try to reach the shore together. It was not an easy decision for him, but he genuinely believed that loyalty sometimes demanded sacrifice.

He did not say anything to the Captain and decided to wait for the Captain to bring it up again, since on both previous occasions, it had seemed more like a casual suggestion, almost a joke. He was okay even if the Captain simply announced the decision without asking him again.

The rationing or cutting down of food and water intake did not start the next day. He did not ask why, but thought that maybe the Captain wanted them to be mentally and physically prepared for the ordeal ahead.

Later that day, the deckhand happened to go to the pantry-cum-mini-kitchen to get some water. There was barely any water left. He looked at the stock of eggs and noticed that it was quite low too. He felt bad, but then, the Captain had already made him aware of the stock position.

While walking out, he went past the Captain's cabin and happened to notice a supplies log (register) on the Captain's desk. He was curious, so he went in and picked up the log.

He noticed that the entries showed that the Captain had been consuming much more than what he had claimed. And much more than the deckhand.

To explain it with an example, the deckhand normally used to get 72 eggs every 12 days. At the same rate, over the past 6.5 days (since the storm damaged their vessel), he had consumed around 40 eggs. The Captain, on the other hand, had consumed 82 eggs in the same period!!

That was not the issue. He did not want to compare and he did not feel bad about the stark difference. After all, Captains are entitled to higher privileges. Captains carry responsibilities, take risks and deserve their rewards. So, it fair that the Captain got higher share of the supplies and even if he had consumed 200, it did not matter to the deckhand.

However, does that apply in a crisis situation too? He did not think so, but...maybe.  

To be fair to the Captain, he never actually rationed the intake of the deckhand. 

But still, what was the need for the Captain to lie? Why did the Captain have to paint a wrong picture about rationing his own intake? Why did the Captain propose, even if casually, that the deckhand go without food for the next 6 days? The situation was indeed quite serious and it warranted some austerity measures. What was the Captain doing about it?

These were questions above the pay grade of the deckhand. So he never questioned the Captain. But something inside him changed.

He still cared about the vessel. He still wanted him and the Captain to reach the shore safely. He still wanted the fishing business to flourish. 

But he was simply no longer certain that everyone aboard believed in the same definition of 'We'.

He lost respect for the Captain.

The true test of leadership is not whether you can persuade others to tighten their belts. It is whether you instinctively reach for your own buckle first.

Sholay: A Behind-the-Scenes Anecdote That Had Me in Splits!

 

I am reading a book about the making of Sholay (Sholay: The Making of a Classic), and I came across an anecdote so hilarious that I simply could not stop laughing.

The last shot done in the Ramanagaram village was Jai’s death scene. It was a heart-breaking scene, made more poignant by their imminent departure. Toward the end of the scene, Radha looks at the Thakur - the glimmer of hope in her barren life has been extinguished - and breaks down on his shoulder. 

While shooting, Hari bhai (Sanjeev Kumar) came to Ramesh (Sippy) and in a soft, anguished tone, said, ‘I can see in Radha’s eyes that she is devastated . . . she was married to my son . . . and then I was marrying her off (to Jai) and then this tragedy happens ... I feel so bad for her . . . Can I take her in my arms and comfort her?’ 

Ramesh looked him and in a deadpan voice replied, ‘What arms?’ 

Hari bhai, the consummate actor, turned away, embarrassed!!  

Ab Mann Nahi Hai!

 

October Junction: Some Meetings Are Different

I just finished reading October Junction by Divya Prakash Dubey. It is a story about two strangers who meet by chance at Assi Ghat in Banaras and make a pact to meet again exactly one year later.

I am a slow reader. But I finished this book in just a few hours. There are multiple reasons for that.

First, it is in Hindi. So, it is easier for me to comprehend. Second, it is an 'breezy read'. The writing is uncomplicated. For the most part, it is written the way we think. There is nothing elaborate about the language. You don't have to pause and make an effort to understand what the author is trying to say. You just keep reading.

And I like the author's writing style. This is his second book that I have read, after Musafir Cafe. One thing I have realized is that the author knows how to keep you hooked.

While reading Musafir Cafe, I had this lingering emotional yearning to know what happens to Sudha and Chander. I experienced something similar with October Junction. This time, it was Chitra and Sudeep.

There were so many things I wanted to know. What happens to them? What happens to Sudeep's company? What about Chitra's writing career? And why did the Sadhu say, "सब ठाठ पड़ा रह जावेगा, जब लाद चलेगा बंजारा।"

I must admit, I could guess or predict quite a few of these answers. Yet, the book kept me hooked. I wanted to know how things would unfold, even when I had a fair idea of what might happen.

So, the book is in Hindi, it is an easy read, and it keeps you curious about what happens next. Is that why I loved the book? Or is there something else?

Indeed, there is.

I think it is the relationship between Chitra and Sudeep.

The central characters themselves are not particularly unique. We all know a Chitra and a Sudeep. We may have met people like them in our own lives. But I am not sure we know anyone who shares a relationship like theirs.

It is friendship, but something more. It is love, but not quite the kind of love we have seen or are used to reading about.

Their first meeting is not uncommon. Several books and movies have shown two strangers meeting by chance, having a conversation, and developing a connection. There is nothing particularly extraordinary about that.

But the way Chitra and Sudeep meet again...and again, is rare.

There is something beautiful about the idea of two people living their separate lives, following their own journeys, and yet having this one meeting to look forward to. No matter what happens during the year, there is this one person, this one place, and this one date.

The settings make it even more beautiful. There is something aspirational about it all.

While reading the book, I kept wondering whether there is someone in my life whom I would want to meet in this manner. Someone I would look forward to meeting after a year, irrespective of what happens in between.

Unfortunately, I couldn't think of anyone. 

Perhaps that is what stayed with me the most. Not the story itself, but the idea of such a relationship. The possibility that two people can mean so much to each other without necessarily fitting into the conventional definitions of friendship or love.

And then there are some lines that I loved.

"बनारस आते बहुत लोग हैं लेकिन पहुँच कम लोग पाते हैं।"

I found this particularly beautiful. There is a difference between visiting a place and truly arriving there. Perhaps that is true not just for Banaras, but for people and relationships too.

"बनारस चढ़ने में टाइम लगता है।"

Some places grow on you. Perhaps some people do too.

"आस-पास देखकर पता ही नहीं चलता कौन कितने आँसू लेकर भटक रहा है।"

This is such a simple observation, yet so true. We meet people, talk to them, laugh with them, and rarely know what they are carrying within themselves.

And then there is a quote from Haruki Murakami's Kafka on the Shore that I kept thinking about:

"But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you won't be the same person who walked in. That's what this storm's all about."

Perhaps that is also what October Junction is about. People moving through life, going through their own storms, changing along the way, and meeting each other at different points in their journeys.

I don't know whether I loved the book because of its story, its characters, its writing, or simply because it made me yearn for a relationship like the one Chitra and Sudeep share.

Perhaps a little bit of everything.

But I do know one thing. I finished the book in a few hours, and yet I continued thinking about it long after I had turned the last page.

And for me, that is always a good reason to like a book.

Mother's Love

I witnessed this beautiful moment from my office window - a grandmother sleeping peacefully with a little child beside her. I couldn’t help but capture it. 

Something about this simple, tender moment reminded me of my mother, and I quietly found myself missing her a little more. She has been unwell and that is giving me sleepless nights.

I love you, Mommy. ❤️

Mom is Unwell 🥺

 

When Two Become One

Read these lines (in the image above) in a book that I am reading. And it got me thinking...

“Till death do us part,” they say. But perhaps death can only part those who remain two separate beings.

When you spend a lifetime searching for that missing half of yourself, and one day you find it in another person, something extraordinary happens. That person ceases to be merely someone you love; they become a part of who you are.

And how can death take away someone who has become a part of your very existence?

Death may take away their physical presence, their voice, their touch, but it cannot take away the part of you that is now them.

So perhaps love was never about being together until death. It was about becoming so much a part of each other that even death loses its power to separate.

आधा तू, आधी वो। और जो तुम्हारे भीतर बस गया, वो भला तुम्हें छोड़कर कहाँ जा सकता है?

Good Night!

This is a good change that I have managed to bring in me. During my consulting days, I used to sleep for only 3-4 hours on an average and that too used to be quite disturbed sleep. It took a toll. However, I finally started to work on it and slowly but gradually, I have managed to improve my sleep significantly. Hope I am able to keep it this way!

There Are Chinks in Everyone’s Armour

Maybe a late realization, but increasingly I am beginning to feel that nobody's life is as perfect as it appears from a distance.

There are people I have looked at and thought, what a wonderful life they must be having. They seem to have everything - success, happiness, means & resources. But when you get a little closer, you often realize that the reality is somewhat different. Everyone has their own issues, their own struggles, something that is not working out, something they are unhappy about. Things that they have completely faked or lied about. Things that are not visible from the outside.

The same is true of people we admire for their abilities. I have come across people whom I thought were exceptionally confident, talented, skilled and good at what they do. But after getting to know some of them better, I realized that they too have their limitations. Some are remarkably good at certain things and surprisingly poor at others. And I am sure the same is true of me. Perhaps we all carry a certain facade, knowingly or unknowingly. And in this world of Instagram and LinkedIn, where everyone puts forward their best side, that facade becomes even more convincing.

I don't mean to take anything away from anyone. Some people are undoubtedly more successful, more talented and more accomplished than others and kudos to them for that. But perhaps the mistake is in assuming that because someone has got a few things wonderfully right, they must have got everything right. The more I see, the more I realize that there are chinks in everyone's armour. We just don't see them until we get a little closer.

Nothing… Just Life…

Apparently, we've discovered the ultimate answer to every question. Just three magical words that say absolutely nothing while pretending to explain everything.

“Doctor, why am I having these terrible headaches?”

“Nothing… just life…”

“Why did Kattappa kill Baahubali?”

“Nothing… just life…”

“Why did the chicken cross the road?”

“Nothing… just life…”

“Why does the Sun rise from East?”

“Nothing… just life…”

“Why is your work delayed?”

“Nothing… just life…”

“Why have you changed so much as a person and friend?”

“Nothing… just life…”

“Why are you not honoring your professional commitments?”

“Nothing… just life…”

“Why do you think EVERYONE but you are at fault?”

“Nothing… just life…”

Brilliant, isn't it? Three words, endless applications, zero clarity.

Who knew avoiding a question could sound so philosophical?

Nothing… just life…

Here We Go Again...

For some reason, it is happening again. 

Though I had promised myself that I would not give unwarranted suggestions, the day before I ended up giving one. It was not to point fingers or rub it in. It was merely out of concern for either party (I am not one of the parties). Like almost always, the suggestions were aggressively discarded. I did not say anything and walked away.

I called up twice that evening. Once to check something and once because I genuinely needed a help. The calls were not received. No message. No call back.

Yesterday, a call was received. It was only to ask me to do something (though I know it would not be accepted, but I know the call was only because of 'business' reasons. I know the tone as well as modus operandi).

Then, no conversations throughout the day. Since my calls had gone unanswered, I was not in the mood either.

I did say bye (I don't know why), but was met with some attitude.

Hmmm.

It is okay then...

When Personal Equations Overshadow Collective Interests

One thing that I have always found difficult to understand is how some people allow their personal egos to come in the way of their professional responsibilities, commitments and relationships.

I find this rather strange and, frankly, extremely unprofessional.

Differences between people are inevitable. We are all individuals with our own personalities, opinions, beliefs and ways of working. It is neither possible nor necessary for colleagues to be friends or get along with everyone. In fact, even two good friends may not necessarily have a cordial working relationship. If two people have an issue with each other, ideally, they should make an effort to resolve it. If that is not possible, the least they can do is ensure that their differences do not affect their work, their commitments or the people around them.

The world of sports offers some interesting examples.  Over the years, we have heard stories about alleged differences between some of the biggest names in cricket. There have been reports and speculation about relationships between Sunil Gavaskar and Kapil Dev, Steve Waugh and Shane Warne, Virat Kohli and Rohit Sharma, and even Harmanpreet Kaur and Smriti Mandhana. 

I must clarify that I have no way of knowing how much truth there is in these stories. Some may have been exaggerated, some may have been entirely speculative, and some may have had an element of truth.

But that is not really the point.

What matters is that, irrespective of whatever differences may or may not have existed, these players have made significant contributions to their teams. Their professional achievements remind us that personal equations need not necessarily come in the way of collective responsibilities.

And that, to me, is an important lesson.

There is, however, another example from sports that illustrates what can happen when personal differences come in the way of collective interests. Leander Paes and Mahesh Bhupathi were once among the most formidable men's doubles combinations in international tennis. They brought tremendous recognition to Indian tennis and gave millions of Indians reasons to celebrate. Unfortunately, their partnership was also marked by well-documented differences. Their disagreements contributed to repeated splits, and although they did reunite at different points, the partnership never enjoyed the continuity that one would have hoped for. 

One can only wonder what more they might have achieved together had their differences been managed differently. This is not to question the extraordinary achievements of either player, both of whom have contributed immensely to Indian tennis, but to reflect on what might have been possible had their partnership continued uninterrupted.

The breakdown of such a successful partnership illustrates how unresolved differences can sometimes come at a cost that extends well beyond the individuals involved.

And this is precisely what happens in organizations too.

When two colleagues have differences, the consequences are not always limited to those two individuals. Work gets delayed. Decisions are held up. Communication becomes selective. Other colleagues are sometimes forced to take sides. People who have absolutely nothing to do with the original disagreement find themselves caught in the middle. At times, even commitments made to customers, colleagues and other stakeholders get compromised.

And for what? To prove a point? To protect one's ego? To demonstrate that one person does not need the other?

I find it difficult to understand how any of these considerations can become more important than the responsibilities one has accepted as a professional. What people often fail to realize is that by allowing personal differences to influence their professional conduct, they may end up hurting not just the other person, but the larger team, the organization and, ultimately, their own credibility.

The ability to work with someone despite personal differences is not a sign of weakness or compromise. On the contrary, I believe it reflects maturity, self-confidence and a sense of responsibility.

Of course, this does not mean that people should tolerate disrespect, unethical behavior or an unhealthy working environment. There are situations where differences are serious and need to be addressed formally. But even in such circumstances, there are professional ways of dealing with the situation without unnecessarily compromising the interests of others. There is nothing wrong with deciding to stop working together or even parting ways, provided the decision is handled thoughtfully, at an appropriate time and without unnecessarily disrupting the work or affecting others.

Commitments must still be honoured. Responsibilities must still be fulfilled. And the larger interests of the team and the organization must never become subordinate to personal egos.

After all, the true test of professionalism is not how well we work with people we like, but how responsibly we work with people we do not particularly get along with.

I Need You Bajrang Bali!

Class 10 Boards: Parents in Panic, Student Unfazed!

Nothing Is Going Right!

Some days, even the strongest hearts feel lost. 🥺💔 But as long as we have each other, there’s still a little hope left for tomorrow. ❤️‍🩹✨

The Great Bed Encroachment!

Hamaare Plot Par Kabzaa Ho Gaya!!

Drishyam The Conclusion: Loved It

Dimpy & Vini went in with slightly low expectations, having already watched the Malayalam Drishyam 3 and not particularly loved it. But Drishyam – The Conclusion had other plans. 🍿🔥

A completely different story, a completely different game - and this time, Vijay Salgaonkar edges past not only the law but also Georgekutty!! ♟️😎

Loved it! ❤️🎬

P.S. Dimpy’s only predictable plotline was the snacks. 🍿🥟🍟🥤

Playing with FIRE!

Our Typical Roadtrips!

Har Har Mahadev!

Hyderabad ➝ Pune ➝ Trimbakeshwar ➝ Pune ➝ Hyderabad. 🚗❤️

Miles driven, memories made, Mahadev’s blessings received. 🙏🔱

Bubu & Dudu’s little road trip with one very important mission — accomplished. ❤️

Har Har Mahadev! 🕉️