Sometimes I feel your presence. Sometimes I think you are still around. You know that I want to talk to you. And I do talk to you. Sometimes quietly, sometimes loudly (just in case you are here and listening). 

I look back at our relationship. I miss my childhood when you were my best friend. I miss those days when I was still 'unaware'. You know that I loved you so much.

Things changed. I grew up. Certain relationships start losing the same meaning with age. People start to drift apart as they get closer to others. But that was not the only reason. In my case, I grew up and started understanding a lot of things. And I started having my own opinion rather than allowing others (often you) to shape one for me. Things started to change then.

Looking back, I am thankful for how you treated me. I could not have asked for more. No one has ever got more. And I am glad that I told you that on multiple occasions. I also told you why I am no longer the same 'Vinayee'. I told you that I love you for all you did for me but there are reasons, which unfortunately I cannot overlook, that make me dislike you as well. 

I want to talk to you. But I do not have anything new to say. I have already shared with you everything so many times. It is just that, this time I want to say the same things while holding your hand.....while hugging you. 

I wish you had never loved me. I wish you were mean to me. As that would have made things easy and simpler. But now it is not. I wish I had called you more often. Now, I feel so helpless. And you were right when you said;

.....Jab hum na honge to ro ro ke duniya, dhoondhegi mere nishaan.......

I am sorry for hurting you and not being the same Vinayee.