Mid-Life Crisis

When I was in my thirties, I’d often hear about this infamous ‘mid-life crisis’ that supposedly grips men like a sudden monsoon storm. The stories painted vivid pictures of otherwise rational men behaving ‘abnormally’—buying fancy motorbikes, setting off on unplanned adventures, or running marathons for reasons only they understood. I used to smugly think I’d be different. Rational. Immune.

Fast forward to today, I’m in my mid-forties, and so are my friends. And let me tell you, mid-life crisis is real. It’s here, and it’s hilarious. 

Let me introduce you to Exhibit A: my good friend Vikash Kumar Singh. (name not changed because... to hell with confidentiality).

Vikash and I go way back. I first met him on my very first day of college in 1997. Having just arrived straight from a cantonment, I was as lost and clueless as a freshman could be. My entire perception of college was based on what I'd seen in movies, and naturally, I was terrified of ragging. As luck would have it, the notice board announced that the start of the session had been postponed by couple of weeks. While relieved, I wanted to confirm this critical piece of information, but the question was—who to ask? The last thing I wanted was to mistakenly tap a senior and land myself in an impromptu ragging session. And then, I spotted him. A short guy, standing there intently reading the notice board. He looked harmless enough, and I figured even if he was a senior, he wouldn't be the ragging type. So, I tapped him on the shoulder and asked about the session. 

He turned around, and to my utter shock, the guy had a full-grown mustache! In my head, only professors and uncles had mustaches of that magnitude. He confirmed the news, and we got talking.

That was the beginning of a friendship that would see us through college as classmates, MBA as batchmates and flatmates, a stint at one of the Big 4s as colleagues, and of course, countless drinking sessions over the years. Vikash has always been the kind of guy who’d say yes to a drink, no matter the time, place, or occasion.

Now, out of nowhere, Vikash Kumar Singh has suddenly become a marathon runner!! Yes, he still says yes to drinks and is still the eternal 'Cheers' guy but now he has become the guy who’d rather run 10 kilometers than a whole night drinking session. A recently saw him saying no to a chilled beer on a Sunday afternoon. If that is not mid-life crisis, do not know what is!!!

The second example? Yours truly. But hey, I’m still in the planning stage and haven’t started doing anything too crazy—yet. I recently turned 45, and a few of my resolutions for this year include (a) no alcohol in 2025 and (b) at least one weekend holiday each month! We haven’t even crossed the first month of the year, and we’ve already done a weekend stay at a resort. Next week, I’ll be driving down to a small town 200 kilometers away for a weekend trip with… Vikash Kumar Singh! Next month, I’m heading to my hometown for a longer break. And at the end of that month, I’ve planned a weekend trip to a tourist attraction about 450 kilometers away. For the following month (i.e., March), I am already planning a trip to a hill station. So far, these are only plans but as I said, I’m still in the early stages of this mid-life crisis disease!

The third example is a little complicated. I used to know this person quite well. My observation is that he has always been fascinated by the relationships others have, and somewhere deep down, he feels he has never truly experienced that. He carries a fairytale-like image of relationships and love—one that, unfortunately, doesn’t align with reality. The truth is, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Every couple has their own set of challenges—some work through them, while others part ways.

Lately, this person, now in his late forties, has been convincing himself and those around him that he has never had a meaningful relationship. He genuinely believes it. And suddenly, he has embarked on a desperate search for new relationships. This, too, is a common symptom of mid-life crisis, but in his case, it’s manifesting in a more concerning way. He is losing his sense of identity, the respect of those around him, and, perhaps most worryingly, his own self-respect. I no longer know him well, but I sincerely hope he finds his way back. His support system has been doing their best, but so far, without much success. I just hope his mid-life crisis doesn’t turn into a long-term crisis.

That’s mid-life crisis for you. It doesn’t knock. It barges in, rearranges your priorities, and makes you do things you never thought you would. While most choose harmless hobbies/passions like bikes or trips, some choose the path of sheer stupidity.

Navigating the Ups and Downs of Relationships in the Modern Era

Let's talk about something that's been on my mind lately: relationships. Have you noticed how it feels like separation and divorce are almost trendy nowadays? It seems like everywhere I look, there's another couple hitting rocky waters or calling it quits altogether. It's got me wondering, have relationships lost their depth and understanding compared to our parents' and grandparents' generations?

I mean, let's get real here. Did our folks and their folks not have their fair share of issues? Of course, they did! Every couple has their highs and lows, and every individual comes with their own mix of amazing qualities and not-so-great ones. Even those couples we envy for their seemingly perfect happiness? Scratch beneath the surface, and you'll find they've got their own set of issues too. But here's the kicker: some couples tough it out, while others are quick to call it quits.

Now, divorces and separations are on the rise, and there's a laundry list of reasons why: incompatibility, miscommunication, infidelity, addictions, domestic abuse, family drama—you name it. But here's the thing: these big-ticket problems are often just the flashy symptoms, not the real root of the problem.

So what's the real kicker? Miscommunication. Yep, it's the biggie. In a world where egos often run the show, truly understanding each other can feel like an uphill battle. But here's the silver lining: most issues can be smoothed out with some good old transparent, heart-to-heart talks. It's all about putting yourself in the other person's shoes, ya know?

Of course, I'm not saying every relationship can be saved. Sometimes, priorities clash so hard that there's just no common ground to stand on. That's the real deal of incompatibility right there.

So, what's the takeaway from all this rambling? Well, maybe it's time we all put a little more effort into listening and understanding each other. After all, a little empathy can go a long way in keeping those flames of love burning bright.

I miss you my friend

Friendship is like a delicate dance, full of ups and downs. It's not always easy to make and keep friends; it's a journey with lots of twists and turns, highs and lows. But it's in those tough times that you really see how strong a friendship is.

I find myself reflecting on this as I navigate the complexities of my own friendships, grappling with the inherent struggles that come with maintaining these cherished bonds. I have always been one to cherish my friendships deeply, holding them close to my heart as pillars of support and solace in times of need. However, in recent times, I have found myself grappling with the painful reality of losing touch with some of my closest friends, a realization that has left me feeling adrift and alone.

One friendship, in particular, stands out as a poignant reminder of the fragile nature of these connections. This friend, who once served as a confidant and a source of comfort, has now become a somewhat distant figure, the warmth of our conversations replaced by mostly formal and awkward conversations. The rift between us began with a series of misunderstandings and miscommunications, each one driving a wedge further between us.

The first crack in our friendship appeared when I felt hurt by some insensitive comments made by my friend. Though I knew deep down that his intentions were not malicious, I couldn't help but feel wounded by his words. Instead of addressing the issue calmly and rationally, I let my emotions get the best of me, leading to a confrontation that left us both feeling uneasy.

The final blow came when a long-running joke between us took a turn for the worse. What had once been a light-hearted jest between friends had morphed into a source of ridicule, causing me immense discomfort and frustration. Despite my repeated attempts to convey my displeasure, my friend failed to grasp the seriousness of the situation, leading to a heated exchange that left our friendship hanging by a thread.

Looking back, I realize that I could have handled things differently. I could have been more patient, more forgiving. I could have approached the situation with a level head and a willingness to understand rather than react. Yet, in the heat of the moment, I let my emotions cloud my judgment, causing irreparable damage to a friendship that meant the world to me. This friend has stood by me in dark times and I should have understood that. I am difficult person to be with but he is one of the few, who was always there.

As I sit here, grappling with the aftermath of these events, I can't help but feel a profound sense of loss. I miss the easy camaraderie we once shared, the effortless way we could talk for hours on end about anything and everything. I miss having someone to confide in, someone who understood me in a way that few others did.

But amidst the pain of this loss, I am reminded of the resilience of friendship. I am reminded that true friendship is not defined by the absence of conflict, but by the ability to overcome it. I am reminded that even in our darkest moments, there is hope for reconciliation, for healing, for a return to the bonds that once united us.

So, to my friend, I want you to know that I miss you. I miss the laughter, the tears, the shared moments that made our friendship so special. I hope that one day, we can rediscover the magic of our friendship once again. Until then, I will hold onto the memories we shared, cherishing them as a reminder of the bond we once shared and the possibility of a brighter future ahead.

Heartbreaking News

Life is so busy and everyone has their share of problems. Where is the time to feel the pain of others? I often hear that from people and I do not blame/question them at all. That is because it makes sense.

But then, I do get moved by pain of others and get the strong urge of doing something for them. It could be financial support or just putting an arm around them and hearing them out.

Just now, I read the news regarding a man in Chhattisgarh, who walked 10 KMs carrying the dead body of his 7 year old daughter. The child was suffering from high fever and extremely low oxygen levels. She succumbed to her conditions in the morning. When questioned, the authorities said that the man was told that a 'hearse' (a vehicle that is used for transporting a dead body to funeral) would be provided but the man left with the body. It does not sound convincing but that is not the point.

What must be going through the father's mind during the 10 KM walk? He must have been dying inside as his daughter was no more. Did he feel the weight? Did he speak to his daughter's body during the walk? Did he want to walk with his daughter as he would have got the chance to hug her all through the long walk? Was it difficult for him to put down his daughter at the end of journey? 

I called Ananya, hugged her and cried. She kept asking the reason but I could not say anything. I just hugged her for several minutes and kept crying.

I looked for the details of the man on internet....I do not know why...

May be its because of my love for my daughter, a father-daughter story especially moves me. I still cannot get over the incident in Kuala Lumpur involving a little girl and her Syrian refugee father.

Holi Celebration @ Home

15th Marriage Anniversary!!

Papa Ma Marriage Anniversary 2020

Pics from Goa Trip - 1

Roshni and I.....Everyday!!!

Ma-Papa

Useless

I am feeling useless. My brother needs help. However, I cannot help him. All due to my insecurities, fears and lack of confidence. The one time he needed me and I am not helping him. Useless.

Legal Battle: Team A vs Team B

Team A presented some 'facts'. Charges were found to be partially incorrect and were shot down by Team B as well as some neutral eye-witnesses. 

As per Team A, Team B has been making false allegations. That claim could not be verified.

As per Team A, Team B has been using unparliamentary language. Team B is found guilty.

As per Team B, Team A has always lied. That claim could not be verified.

As per Team B, Team A has always used Team B. That claim could not be verified.

As per neutral eye-witnesses, Team A could have avoided the situation.

-----------------------------------------------

Based on all the facts presented in the case, this self-appointed judge makes the following observations. 

• Team A should avoid such situations
• Team B should try not to overreact
• If there is a dispute in future, Team A and B must try NOT to create a scene in front of others
• Team A and B are rarely on the same page and are rarely cordial. They should steer clear of each other
• Beyond this, the judge does not give a f**k!!!

Dream we shall never see again

Streets we have never walked on
Windows we have never opened
Hands we have never held
Dreams we shall never ..never see again

Lives we have never lived
Hopes ..we have never realized
Fires we have never lit
Loves we shall never .. never make again

Relationship Goals

"Babu Moshai....Zindagi badi honi chahiye, lambi nahi". This is a dialogue from the movie Anand. It has such a deep and special message, which is true even for relationships.

It does not matter what is the duration of the relationship. There are people who remain in a relationship for years yet they feel disconnected. And then there are some relationships that do not last long but remain special.

So make the relationships special. Do not celebrate anniversaries....celebrate each day, each moment.

Collage Times

Hey Inner-Me,

I missed talking to you. I will do so in more detail sometime later but just wanted to tell you that a lot has been happening.

And yes, you know 'Teacher', don't you? And you know how guilty I have been feeling all these years? That has not changed as I still am sorry for what I did. 

BUT....it has been brought to my attention that the 'Teacher', whom I respect, has been mouthing lies against me. Not that I blame the person but the respect has reduced. And the person also lied to me about some things. 

When would I learn?

Anyways, Cheers!!!

Happy Birthday Teacher

HUM

All the women I love