As mentioned in a recent blog post (The Real 'Darr' Was Outside the Theatre), during my growing up years, a large part of my extended family lived in Patna. Several of my Buas and Phuphas, along with countless cousins, used to live there. Hence, school vacations and college term breaks often involved a trip to Patna.
While I was in school, a trip to Patna meant large family gatherings, games, cricket, good food, ice creams and endless stories. When I was in college, there was another addition to the list of fun activities.
Drinking sessions!
I was thinking about when I first had alcohol and was reminded of a night in Patna. But, before I talk about that night, I have a confession. Or rather, a declaration.
I was actually introduced to alcohol when I was a toddler!
My father served in the Indian Army, and we used to attend frequent parties at the Officers' Mess. Handling a restless toddler who simply would not sit in one place must have been tiring and testing for my parents, especially my mother. So, as soon as we reached the Mess, my parents would hand me over to one of the young officers. Being a former beauty pageant winner (actually, a 'Healthy Baby Contest' winner), I was quite popular among them. I was called "Vini Master."
During these parties, one officer or another would carry the toddler version of me, and I would often take a sip or two from their glasses. My parents used to get really angry with those officers, but somehow I would manage to get tipsy by the end of each party.
I had actually developed a drinking problem at that age because, once, I took several gulps of soy sauce simply because the bottle resembled a beer bottle, specifically Golden Eagle Lager Beer! I had probably become used to the bitterness of alcohol because, around that age, I ate and drank several unusual things. These included a few cigarettes, an entire bottle of Liv 52 medicine, and even a small torch bulb!
Thankfully, compulsive eating or drinking of weird stuff stopped with age.
(Compulsive eating did not!)
Coming back to that night in Patna. It was the first time I had alcohol as a teenager. The first time in the age group of 3 to 17 years. I had still not reached the legal drinking age.
Honestly, I do not recall the exact year, but I do not think I had reached the first year of B.Com yet. By the time I joined B.Com, I had started drinking regularly, so this must have been 1996. If it was indeed 1996, I was 16.
Unlike other visits, I had gone to Patna alone and my parents were not there. That meant even more freedom. No one to ask uncomfortable questions.
One of my cousins (the same cousin from the 'Darr' story) used to stay outside the city. His parents were either away or were spending the night at another relative's house. That meant the house was available for a party. Let us call this cousin - 'Dude'.
A plan was put together, and another cousin (lets call him 'Captain') was invited. I do not think they asked me whether I had had alcohol before. But even if they had, I would have said, "Of course!" After all, who wants to show weakness in front of friends and elder cousins?
Alcohol and snacks were arranged. I do not recall the brand, but I would not be surprised if it was the legendary dark rum - 'Old Monk'.
The three of us - Dude, Captain and me - met at Dude's place. The house was outside the city, with a canal flowing in front of it (not visible from the house) and farmland behind it. We arranged everything in Dude's room on the first floor of the independent duplex house.
We started drinking post sunset. I do not remember the exact time, but I remember that it was dark outside. Patna is in eastern India, and it gets dark fairly early there.
I was worried about getting drunk and creating a scene. If I did that, it would become clear that I am a novice. So I kept telling myself to act cool and stay in control, or at least give that impression. The last thing I wanted was to puke after drinking because that would have meant endless ridicule. The problem was, I had no idea how to prevent that.
After the second peg, I felt my ears getting a little warm. Apart from that, there was no other effect. We talked about past incidents, funny stories, girls, cricket and everything under the...moon!
A couple more drinks followed. I was still waiting for something to happen while also hoping that nothing would happen!
By then, I had started feeling quite warm. I asked Dude if we could open the windows. He said it was not a good idea because it would invite an entire army of mosquitoes from the open farmland behind the house. Note: Air conditioners were quite uncommon in middle class homes back then.
It was getting quite unpleasant.
My cousins noticed my discomfort but told me I was paying too much attention to it. I stopped complaining because I thought it was probably a sign that drinks were having an impact on me. But, apart from feeling warm, I was absolutely normal. Even my cousins looked perfectly normal.
After some time, the small room, filled with three over-energetic boys, booze, snacks and cigarettes, became quite stuffy. My cousins started feeling it too.
At this point, Dude announced that the room felt stuffy because the room was "too small". I did not know how to react because it was a rather pointless observation. But to honor his 'analysis', I smiled or perhaps laughed a bit.
We moved on to discuss other things.
A few minutes later, Dude repeated the same observation. Not in the exact same words, but he again pointed out that the room was simply too small for comfort.
Then he came up with a brilliant suggestion.
He suggested that we should 'push the walls' away to make the room bigger!
I could only manage an awkward smile. To my surprise, Captain got up and said we should try that. Encouraged by the support, Dude walked up to one of the walls and started pushing it.
His room had a wardrobe on one wall, two windows (one on either side of the bed) on another wall, another window and a door on the third wall. The wall opposite his bed had the main entrance to his room. It was plain and the largest.
He chose that wall and started trying to push it away! I was sure that he was kidding. However, soon, Captain joined him too!!
I was completely clueless and had no idea how to react. I simply stood there with a confused smile while watching them. They looked genuinely happy and were on a mission.
Dude asked me to join them.
I did not want to ask questions or interrupt whatever they were trying to do. So I put down my glass and joined them. I chose the opposite end of the wall and pretended to push.
At one point, Dude declared that we have succeeded a little...but only a little. Captain agreed. I reluctantly nodded.
I was thinking what exactly were they trying to achieve. There was no way they could be serious. May be they were playing a prank. Maybe this was their way of checking how drunk I was and how I reacted to ridiculous ideas. I was convinced that a loud 'GOT YOU!!' was just around the corner.
I became cautious and slowly started withdrawing from this "fun activity".
Soon, both of them said that it was not working and stopped pushing the wall. That was a relief. I was happy that I had not fallen into their trap and equally happy that this bizarre activity had finally come to an end.
I picked up my glass and was just about to sit down on the bed when it happened.
I realized that Dude was sad because his efforts had not made any significant changes....YET. But, he was not a quitter.
Just as I was about to sit down with my glass, I heard a loud 'Yaaaaaaaa.....' and saw Dude charging towards the wall like a spirited soldier charging at the enemy.
The room was not large enough (that was the precise problem he was trying to solve), so the charge lasted 2-3 steps before he leapt into the air and slammed into the wall with his right shoulder!
I was stunned by this sudden act of violence and insanity. But was it over? No, not at all.
He took 4 steps back and then repeated the charge. I do not recall whether Captain joined him, but I do remember him cheering Dude on. I think he got back to pushing the wall but I honestly do not have a memory of that.
What I can never forget, however, is the sight of Dude 'flying' like a cannonball and crashing into the wall...again and again.
I quietly put down my glass. I realized that it was no prank and it was ACTUALLY happening. I thought that if I took few more pegs, I might start acting like that too.
The party did not last much longer. Dude wanted to go on and on like the Duracell bunny. However, since the resources were limited back then, soon both the booze and the snacks ran out. With that, Dude's battery ran out too.
The next morning, we discovered that Dude's efforts had not entirely gone in vain. His repeated attacks on the wall had caused significant damage...to his right arm. It was black and blue!
The thought that something similar could happen to me genuinely shook me and I did not have another drink till I passed out of...school.
I am a teetotaler now, but but there was a phase in my life when I drank heavily. Thankfully, though, I have never tried to make a room bigger after a few drinks!
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