Have you ever been 'caught' doing something that you were not doing? Have you been into a situation in which you suddenly find someone looking at you suspiciously and when you look at yourself, you feel that, "of course!!! anyone would be suspicious!!!" I do not know why but suddenly I recalled a past incident, in which I was in a similar situation.
This was during my Deloitte days. It was year 2006. I was new in Deloitte and so were most of the people in my team. It was a new team that was set up in Hyderabad. There were some expats, who had come from US to do some hand-holding, help with cultural sensitization and make everyone feel part of the system.
Initial days in Deloitte used to be fun. It was more about getting to know the people, the practices and the Deloitte way. Consulting was an absolutely new environment for me. One thing that used to fascinate me the most was the ease with which people used to network with each other. Everyone mixed up with each other with ease, something which I was and to some extent still am not too good at. But I wanted to learn all that.
The incident took place on a day when we were planning some 'fun' activity and we needed some pictures. Like always, I was carrying a camera and became the photographer. We clicked some pictures and then were finding a way to transfer them to my laptop. No one had a transfer cable. Someone suggested that W. Cecyl Hobbs must be having one. Cecyl was a manager, who had come from Deloitte US. He was with the same industry vertical in which I was working but I did not know him that well.
I went looking for him and found him in a conference room with the senior leadership. Being new in the system, I felt a little awkward walking into the room and asking for a camera cable!!! Basically, I could not muster enough courage to walk into the room. So I went back to the discussion room in which my team was sitting. One of my colleagues Balaji, a senior member in the team, asked me about the cable and I told him that Cecyl is busy so I will ask him later. Balaji probably sensed my hesitation and asked me to go and ask Cecyl right away. When I did not jump out of my chair, he gave me another option. An option that sounded much better since I was feeling uncomfortable walking into that conference room. Balaji suggested that I check if Cecyl's camera bag is in his workstation and if it is there, take the cable and let Cecyl know later. Sounded much much better.
However, when I reached Ceycl's workstation and found a red and grey bag, which looked like a camera bag, I started hesitating again. How can I just pick up someone's bag and check if there is a cable inside!!! This is not right. But just then........my desire to overcome such 'shyness' kicked in and I started thinking that I should be like everyone else in the team....mix up with people with ease. And for some reason I thought this would be a good way to start in that direction!!! After all, I am not stealing anything. I will take the cable, use it and when Cecyl comes out of the meeting, I will let him know and return the cable to him. Cool!!! And that way, I will introduce myself to Cecyl as well. Sounded like a plan to me.
I moved forward and picked the bag. Just then I noticed someone standing behind me. It was Cecyl. He did not say anything. He looked at me.....I looked at him and smiled. Then he looked at the bag in my hand, with a suspicious look on his face. Then I looked at my hand and I got the same feeling that I described in the beginning. Of getting caught doing something which I was not doing!!! I blabbered something...I do not remember what....but I tried to explain my presence in his workstation. He did not seem much interested in what I was saying and continued to give me that look. I can understand his reaction as I would not have believed myself.
Turned out that he did not have the cable. I do not even know whether it was a camera bag or not. I came out of his workstation and asked myself...... "WHAT WAS I THINKING!!!"
It is one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. Continues to haunt me.
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