Have not picked up the camera in a long time. Everything is so disorganized. A lens is lying in the living room. Another one is in a drawer!!! One more is in a safe place but I cannot recall the location of that safe place. I am usually not like this. At least not with the camera equipment. If the camera and lenses are lying diaorganized, it bothers me a great deal. However, I am not finding time to get bothered!!!
In the past few weeks, I have not spent much time with the family either. I leave in the morning and come back late. And then work from home till the wee hours.
Things have been super-crazy. Deliverables, proposals, meetings and lots of worries. Official and personal worries.
What do I get out of this? Am screwing my health, not getting enough sleep and not getting anything in return!!! Body clock has gone for a toss. Even if work finishes at (comparatively) sane hours, I am unable to sleep till 2-3 AM. Sometimes it is difficult to lose the momentum and on other times, there are too many things bothering me.
Will I try and change this? Well.....May be.
Not that I am confused. Just that I have made such resolutions so many times that now I am embarrassed to even make such resolutions.
One thing is for sure though. I have firmly realized that 'it is not worth it'. I do need to manage my time slightly better but more importantly, I need to stop the charity by 'donating' additional hours and weekends. Those are not investments as they do not fetch me any returns. That is plain and simple charity which must be stopped. Had they been fetching any awards/rewards, I would have still been motivated. No more.
I just hope that a matter that has been long pending gets resolved and soon. It wont help the resolution but it will help in getting back the motivation. It will surely do.
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