Maintain a healthy distance

There should be a distance in every relationship. It is especially true in relationships where the people involved are very different. I have always known this and to the extent possible, I try to maintain a distance in most of my relationships.

During my MBA days, one my best friends Vikas Khaitan always used to suggest that we should stay together. Both of us were sharing our flats with other people and he wanted me to move into his flat. Though I wanted to do that but I still refrained from doing so. The reason is that me and Vikas Khaitan and two very different people. He is an out and out extrovert and is very friendly with most people. I, on the other hand, am an introvert and take time in mixing up with people. Moreover, I have very strong likes-dislikes and also have a short temper. I did not want these differences in our personality to affect our friendship and so I never stayed with Khaitan.

I did not think twice before staying with Amit Upadhyay, who is another best friend of mine. Amit and I are extremely similar and have common likes and dislikes. I was sure that our friendship will not be affected by the odd differences in opinion, which are bound to crop up while staying together.

One should always try to maintain a healthy distance in all their relationships. Suppose there is a cousin, aunt, neighbour etc with whom you are really close/friendly. However, if you be with him/her all the time, some differences in opinion will definitely come-up. It is quite natural. Then, every person has a different way of reacting to situations. Some people handle things calmly whereas some people lose their cool. Such situations can affect the relationship of the people and this should be avoided to the extent possible.

I am writing all this gyan as today I am getting this feeling that I am a difficult person to stay with. I am friendly with all my friends, relatives (with whom I am close with) but whenever I spend a lot of time with them, some issues come up. Sometimes I am wrong and sometimes I am not. But it takes me some time to overcome the situation and that makes the environment very ugly. I guess I will have to work on it, which I will. However, at the same time, I expect my close ones ti understand my limitations. They have spent a lot of time with me to understand my limitations. I feel bad when they dont. I am sure they also feel the same in such situations. We hardly get time to spend with each other and when such rare moments get spoilt, I feel extremely disappointed and frustrated. I feel like punishing myself.