When I was in my thirties, I’d often hear about this infamous ‘mid-life crisis’ that supposedly grips men like a sudden monsoon storm. The stories painted vivid pictures of otherwise rational men behaving ‘abnormally’—buying fancy motorbikes, setting off on unplanned adventures, or running marathons for reasons only they understood. I used to smugly think I’d be different. Rational. Immune.
Fast forward to today, I’m in my mid-forties, and so are my friends. And let me tell you, mid-life crisis is real. It’s here, and it’s hilarious.
Let me introduce you to Exhibit A: my good friend Vikash Kumar Singh. (name not changed because... to hell with confidentiality).
Vikash and I go way back. I first met him on my very first day of college in 1997. Having just arrived straight from a cantonment, I was as lost and clueless as a freshman could be. My entire perception of college was based on what I'd seen in movies, and naturally, I was terrified of ragging. As luck would have it, the notice board announced that the start of the session had been postponed by couple of weeks. While relieved, I wanted to confirm this critical piece of information, but the question was—who to ask? The last thing I wanted was to mistakenly tap a senior and land myself in an impromptu ragging session. And then, I spotted him. A short guy, standing there intently reading the notice board. He looked harmless enough, and I figured even if he was a senior, he wouldn't be the ragging type. So, I tapped him on the shoulder and asked about the session.
He turned around, and to my utter shock, the guy had a full-grown mustache! In my head, only professors and uncles had mustaches of that magnitude. He confirmed the news, and we got talking.
That was the beginning of a friendship that would see us through college as classmates, MBA as batchmates and flatmates, a stint at one of the Big 4s as colleagues, and of course, countless drinking sessions over the years. Vikash has always been the kind of guy who’d say yes to a drink, no matter the time, place, or occasion.
Now, out of nowhere, Vikash Kumar Singh has suddenly become a marathon runner!! Yes, he still says yes to drinks and is still the eternal 'Cheers' guy but now he has become the guy who’d rather run 10 kilometers than a whole night drinking session. A recently saw him saying no to a chilled beer on a Sunday afternoon. If that is not mid-life crisis, do not know what is!!!
The second example? Yours truly. But hey, I’m still in the planning stage and haven’t started doing anything too crazy—yet. I recently turned 45, and a few of my resolutions for this year include (a) no alcohol in 2025 and (b) at least one weekend holiday each month! We haven’t even crossed the first month of the year, and we’ve already done a weekend stay at a resort. Next week, I’ll be driving down to a small town 200 kilometers away for a weekend trip with… Vikash Kumar Singh! Next month, I’m heading to my hometown for a longer break. And at the end of that month, I’ve planned a weekend trip to a tourist attraction about 450 kilometers away. For the following month (i.e., March), I am already planning a trip to a hill station. So far, these are only plans but as I said, I’m still in the early stages of this mid-life crisis disease!
The third example is a little complicated. I used to know this person quite well. My observation is that he has always been fascinated by the relationships others have, and somewhere deep down, he feels he has never truly experienced that. He carries a fairytale-like image of relationships and love—one that, unfortunately, doesn’t align with reality. The truth is, there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. Every couple has their own set of challenges—some work through them, while others part ways.
Lately, this person, now in his late forties, has been convincing himself and those around him that he has never had a meaningful relationship. He genuinely believes it. And suddenly, he has embarked on a desperate search for new relationships. This, too, is a common symptom of mid-life crisis, but in his case, it’s manifesting in a more concerning way. He is losing his sense of identity, the respect of those around him, and, perhaps most worryingly, his own self-respect. I no longer know him well, but I sincerely hope he finds his way back. His support system has been doing their best, but so far, without much success. I just hope his mid-life crisis doesn’t turn into a long-term crisis.
That’s mid-life crisis for you. It doesn’t knock. It barges in, rearranges your priorities, and makes you do things you never thought you would. While most choose harmless hobbies/passions like bikes or trips, some choose the path of sheer stupidity.