India is the biggest supporter of terrorists

What goes in the mind of a terrorist right before he does something insane and inhuman? What was Kasab and his fellow terrorists thinking right before they opened firing? Dont they think about the outcomes of their actions? Dont they worry about the future of themselves and that of their family members? What do their masters across the border tell them that makes these terrorists forget about the outcome?

I think the primary motivator is the fact that nothing much can go wrong. If they die, they will be called martyrs in their land and their families will get some money. But if they get caught, they can enjoy life in the laps of mother India.

Can someone please explain to me why are we feeding that %$#@...... pardon my language...that mother$%#@&# Kasab? Have we adopted him or what? I understand that terrorists need to be caught so that we extract information from them. But what more information are we looking from him....his sperm count? Why are we even trying to take him to the court of law? What is the message that we are trying to give to the terrorists? "If you bomb us, we will catch you and provide you free food and shelter for the rest of your life". This seems to be the message that we are trying to give.

For heavens sake, put that bastard in a tiger's cage!!! Or hand him to me.

Not that I am a big supporter of Varun Gandhi or believe in his "ideologies" but I want to know how come he is wrong and Pramod Muthalik and Raj Thackeray are not? Somebody told me that Varun Gandhi is in trouble as at the time of elections, such speeches are against the law!!! Not sure whether this is factually correct or not. But if it is then its nothing but a big joke. How come such speeches are illegal at times of elections and okay at all other time!!!! Funny!!!

IPL 2 is back!!!

After so much confusion, finally IPL 2 is actually happening. Cant wait for the matches to start. This time around, Mumbai Indians are looking pretty strong as they have a balanced line-up. But you never know in 20-20 matches. I hope it is as or more exciting than the first edition. Go Tendulkar Go!!!!

Pondicherry: A Laid-Back Holiday Destination

Since last 4 years, I had been making plans to visit Pondicherry. During my a year and half stay at Bangalore, I must have made a plan for each weekend but it never happened. Finally, last year in October, I managed a trip to Pondicherry.

I had heard a lot about the place. A clean and planned town thats pretty "laid-back". People used to tell me that there is not much to do at Pondicherry and its for those who enjoy looking at the sea for hours and walking on the beach. So my expectations were well set. I did not land over there to have a happening vacation.......I found it simply great!!! And I went over there again in December last year.

Pondicherry is three hours drive away from Chennai. The drive itself is pretty enjoyable, given one is taking the East Coast Road. From Chennai till Pondicherry, the road runs parallel to the sea. I wish I had driven the vehicle. The road is great and one can easily drive at 100+ speed. An AC cab from Chennai to Pondicherry costs between 1,600 to 2,200 Rs.

Its a place tailor made for tourists. It presents zillions of options for everything. Be it the food that you want to have or the kind of place you want to stay in or the budget that you have...Pondicherry has a perfect option for you.

The first time we went to Pondi, we stayed at Ashok Beach Resort. It is a hotel with government backing. The tarriff is not low but the standard is. 4K for a room a day wont seem too much but wait till you have a look at the room. The facilities are pretty basic. The rooms do not even have a locker or a cupboard that you can lock on your own. The restaurant is sad as well. BUT....the resort has a private beach!!! Now, one limitation that Pondicherry has is that it has hardly any beaches. Ashok is probably the only resort/hotel that has a private beach. And thats a major plus. The place is outside Pondi (11 kms outside). Stay over there for the private beach and if you have arranged for a vehicle.

In the second trip, we stayed at Ginger Hotel. It was December. We went over there on Christmas Eve. So, we did not have much options left. Ginger was one of the few options and it was coming out to be pretty inexpensive. But Ginger truly surprised us. It was our first stay at Ginger. The rooms are pretty nice and clean. They are small but they have most of the things that you would require. Moreover, they do not charge you a fortune. I have this funda that any place you go, you should spend the least on accomodation. Then use all the money to explore the place, buy things, eat and............of course drink. I found Ginger pretty impressive and I recommend it to everyone.

Whenever we go to any tourist place in India that far away from our home, we have to depend on city tour operators/hired cabs to explore the city. Thats never a pretty good idea as one misses out on the true flavor of the place. Pondicherry is one of the very few places in India where you can hire a two-wheeler (bike, scooter, bicycle). A personal vehicle provides the required mobility. In both the trips, we did exactly that. The better bikes are reserved for the firangs as they pay better. So, in the first trip I got a Honda Activa!!!! (poor machine). But in the second trip, I managed to get a Pulsar. That was the best thing that could happen. It made the trip pretty enjoyable and we could visit a lot more places.

Another plus point of Pondicherry is its diverse culture. It is a former French colony and that provides a different flavor. Moreover, the Aurobindo Ashram at Pondicherry attracts tourists from all parts of the globe. And several of those tourists come and stay at Pondicherry for long periods. One area where this diverse culture has had extremely positive impact is the food!!! You will find some great bakeries, some french restaurants, fast food places, breakfast places....everything. And we tried most of them. If you are at Pondicherry, I suggest you start your day early. Do not have the breakfast in your hotel, even if it is complimentary. Try some of the great breakfast places that they have. Do not expect any lavish stuff....remember "Pondicherry" and "laid-back". There is one place right on the turning for Auroville. (Its right there on the main road and is next to the turning). Then on the Auroville approach road, you will find some small but great places. These are more like shacks. The waiter will also be the cook. the microwave might be right next to your table. Nothing fancy but they give the true flavor of Pondicherry. And one must try the "Bakery Boulangerie". They offer some great pasteries and breads.

There are not many places to see. One should go to Auroville but apart from that there is nothing much. The best place to spend some time is the beach road. Between certain hours, the traffic cops block the entry of vehicles on the beach road. And then hundreds of people come out and walk over there. Even if you are not much of a "Johnnie Walker" (I admit, thats a bad joke), you will still enjoy walking on the beach road. The atmosphere, the sound of waves hitting rocks, everything is simply great. Even driving/riding on the beach road in the late night is awesome. At this point, I will once again emphasise that it is a good place for those people who want to have a laid-back (this adjective keeps popping up and quite naturally so) holiday. It is not for people who want to have a happening vacation.

I dont have much more to write but I am not content. I liked the place so much that I am getting this feeling that I am not doing proper justice in describing the place. But then, I cannot paint that amazing picture with plain words. Go over there to experience the place.

Pic at Suryalanka Beach Resort

Suryalanka Beach Resort

Where to eat and what to eat

The idea behind this blog is not to suggest restaurants. Usually, I pick a restaurant based on what I am feeling like having. The following list has the details of the places that I regularly visit (Hyderabad) as well as what I like to have over there (you are free to take a cue);

• Fusion 9. I love the lamb lasagna over there. It is a great restaurant with pretty good ambience. The food is slightly on the costlier side but good things never come cheap. Good place for an evening dinner. Not so quiet though.
• Shanbagh. I like the "Tomato Bath" over there. I am talking about the Shanbagh (old one) on Panjagutta circle (between Hyderabad Central and Bajaj Electronics). It is a typical "tiffins" or "meals' place. Great place to have breakfast, given you like south indian dishes. The ambience is pretty basic though. They do have an AC restaurant. Crowd is decent and so one can go with family.
• Paradise. Obviously the chicken biryani.
• Green Park. I go over there for the "Midnight Biryani". I am not crazy about their biryani but its the chicken haleem thats great. I must admit that I have never tasted haleem at an authentic haleem place. I have always tried it at star hotels. Green Park is my favorite
• Tiwary Brothers. I go over there for kachauri, jalebi and...........a dose of bhojpuri!!! It is not a restaurant but just a sweet shop (pretty big one at that) on the Khairatabad junction. You must try the Kachauris and jalebis over there. The staff is from eastern UP or Bihar. Their talks take me back to my hometown. Kabhi Bihar U.P aakar dekho, mehmaan ko hum bhagwaan ki tarah maante hain!!!
• Anji's. Poori-Bhaaji. Don't pull out your hair trying to locate this place. It is just a stall run by a guy named Anji. The place is right on top of Nagarjuna Hills. The stall is right infront of the old building of ICFAI Business School (the place I did my MBA from). I had breakfast/lunch on the stall daily, for almost two years!!! It has an emotional connect as well. Do not know whether it is still there or not. I last went there two years back.
• Suprabhata. Gobi Rice is a must have. Another one of those lesser known "meals" places. Its right there on the Punjagutta junction. Its Gobi Rice is popular even outside Hyderabad. But it is a pretty small place. Suitable only for bachelors. Otherwise get it packed and take it home. Ya, they provide veg curry with gobi-rice. Ask for sambar instead.
• Bombay Blues. I must have had their "Cheesy Chicken Pasta" with beer a zillion times. Their "Sizzling Chilly Chicken" is great as well. Nice restaurant with good ambience. Its in Hyderabad Central.
• Ohri's Gufaa. Talwaar Kabab is simply awesome.

There are several other places that I like and frequent(Tabla, Barbecue Nation, Utsav, Zafraan, Chhatees.....) but there is no particular dish that has appealed to me. I will keep trying!!!

And ya, there is another place that is pretty good for "Chilly Paneer", "Chicken Biryani", "Rajma Chawal", "Chocolate Cake" and several other things. Its my place. (paani mein rahna hai to magar (read: my wife) se bair nahi rakhunga). You are most welcome.

Trip to Car Museum (Hyderabad)

Couple of months back, on a lazy weekend afternoon, me and my wife decided that we should go out somewhere. Enough of sitting at home and having the same routine weekend. But where to go? Hyderabad does not serve many options. Then I remembered reading about a car museum somewhere in Hyderabad. We searched for the address on the net and within half an hour, we were on the road.

The place is called "Sudha Cars" (The name of the owner and the person who builds those cars is Sudhakar). It has theme cars, bikes & cycles. To give an example, it has a "kick-start" Rolls Royce with Bajaj scooter's engine!!! The place has pretty interesting stuff. But it is poorly maintained. The trip was not enjoyable at all. It is a small place and one can see all the stuff in half an hour. Not worth the one hour drive (one way). Moreover, there is not much you can do over there. There is a small shop selling refreshments but it does not offer much. The shop does sell miniature models of the models in the museum. But the quality of those toys is extremely poor (quite an understatement). I hate to admit but I am really fond of toys. Stuff like toy cars really appeal to me. But none of the stuff on sale over there appealed to me.


So Mr. Sudhakar, first of all, let me tell you that you have an exceptional talent. Some of the stuff at your place is very interesting. But you must do something to enhance the overall experience of the visitors. You should try to make the place worth a visit. I agree that people do visit your place. But that is coz there is a dearth of options in Hyderabad and also because the people you take the city tours "have to" come to your place. For starters, make your place clean. It is not very dirty but it is not clean either. Then there should be a bigger refreshment stall, with more options. Improve the quality of miniature models that you sell. Stuff that is sold on traffic signals has a better quality. If it gets better, it will find more buyers (I will definitely be one of them). You can start some rides where people can pay and ride/drive some of your work of art. You can also take orders and make/sell some products. All this will generate good revenue which can be invested in giving the place a facelift, in making new stuff or for simply buying a real car!!!


One last suggestion. Do not ever give up this hobby/passion. You are pretty good at it. Moreover, Hyderabad needs such places.

From the two trips to Pondicherry (Trip diary will follow)

Are we too liberal?

Recently, I watched the movie "Shaurya". It is inspired by the hollywood flick "A Few Good Men" but is not in any manner a loose adaptation. The plot may be similar but the issue is pretty different. The movie shows a Brigadier in the Indian Army who, due to some unfortunate incidents in his life, has developed extreme hatred towards muslims. He is a devoted soldier, a patriot but he wants to kill all muslims. His ways and actions are way too extreme and like most Hindi movies, the truth triumphs in the end, and the Brigadier goes to jail. I am not here to discuss the movie. But the issue that I am concerned about has a close link.

Except those of us who are part of any Hindu extremist party or group, everyone else must have agreed to and liked the end of the movie. Forget about others, I liked the end. There is no place for such radical ideologies in an organization like the Indian Army....or for that matter, anywhere. No matter what had happened to the character in personal life, nothing can justify such actions. In real life, any such actions should be severely punished.

There have been several terrorist attacks on India. Most of those are conducted by muslims. Being a very patriotic person, I feel bad whenever such an incident takes place. But I have nothing against the muslims. I do not generalize. I do not have extremist ideologies and I certainly do not want all the muslims to killed. I feel that they are as much a part of my country as I am. But I do think that we are very liberal towards some of them.

Coming to the point that I want to make, there was an incident that took place in Srinagar on 15th August 2008. In the morning, Indian Tricolor was hoisted in an area (I think it was called Lal Chowk). By the evening, hundreds of people gathered in that area, they ripped the Indian flag and burnt it. They put the flag of Jamaat-e-Islami (which looks like the Pakistani flag). They were shouting the pro-pakistan slogans like, "Jiyo, jiyo Pakistan, hum hain Pakistani" (Long Live Pakistan, we are Pakistanis). I truly wish the Brigadier from the movie was there. Any act of disrespect towards India and Indian flag should not be tolerated. The army/police/CRPF should have opened fire on those bastards and killed each one of them. I agree that each one of them might have a story to tell or a scar to show but nothing....NOTHING AT ALL can justify such actions. Anyone should try burning a Pakistani flag in Pakistan. People will burn the person alive. But, for some inexplicable reason, we are way too liberal.

I do not think I need to state this, but for the record, I have nothing against the muslims or any other community. But, I want all those people who show or have shown disrespect towards my country to burn in HELL. Period.

Wanted to write this since last several months. Feeling slightly relieved but not happy.

Trip to Suryalanka Beach Resort

If you are at Hyderabad and looking for a weekend getaway, you don't have much options. There is a dearth of tourist places around Hyderabad unless you are the religious kind and temple towns are okay with you. I have been staying in Hyderabad since last 7 years and I have already been to most places in and around Hyderabad that are worth a visit. Then I heard about this place called "Suryalanka".

Andhra Pradesh Tourism Development Corporation has been aggressively promoting this place. Last December, we thought we will give it a shot. Suryalanka is a beach village (cant be called a town by any stretch of imagination). There is a government resort right on the beach so one thing it can definitely boast of is a good view. The beach is pretty clean as it is far from any big town. One can enjoy a morning walk with a lovely view and a peaceful environment. The sunset is great as well.

Having said all that, let me admit that Suryalanka gave us more negatives than positives(we will come to that)....yet it was a welcome change from a boring and pretty routine weekend at Hyderabad. All we wanted was to forget about the tensions of everyday life, sit on the beach on a lazy evening and have chilly chicken with beer/soft drinks. We got that.

I have already explained the positives (change, good view etc). Let me explain the negatives a little so that you do not kill me if you do make a trip. First and foremost, it is a government resort so service is ..... sub-standard. No two ways about it. The resort has several cottages which are "cheap" (normally I use the term, "inexpensive" but cheap describes it better as the tariff is low and so is the quality). The restaurant is pretty bad as well and they reluctantly serve the food in the cottages. Moreover, one cannot order a sizzler or a lasagne over there. They have fixed menu (little choice) for each day...depending upon the supplies. Ya, you can ask for any special dish. They do try to accomodate your wishes. The restaurant at the resort is the only option that one has. They take ages in bringing food so order around 2 hours in advance. There is not much to do at Suryalanka so DONT plan for more than a weekend. Ya, I am pretty much done with the negatives.

Food takes time to arrive but the taste is not too bad. Do try the chilly chicken, which needless to say, best goes with chilled beer. There are some shops (dont expect a Foodworld or WalMart) right outside the resort. They stock snacks and beer. Beer is available in every shop so thats a major positive.

Suryalanka is best for people from Hyderabad.....as they do not have much options. It is certainly not a great holiday destination but is a pretty okay option if you are looking for a change. The trip wont cost much as well. Okay, let me put it this way....if you are at hyderabad and have run out of options, you badly need a change, you like travelling and are a little adventurous, do not have more time than a weekend and you are not looking for a 5-star comfort....you can try Suryalanka.

(The nearest railhead is "Bapatla", which is around one hour away from Vijaywada. By road, it is around 7-8 hours drive from Hyderabad but thats not really advisable. Go over there in summers if you are looking for ways to commit suicide. Even december was hot. Carry your own snacks. An electric kettle with few cup noodles will be great. There is an Indian Air Force station nearby so one can leverage those connections and stay in their guest house. But in that casem you will miss out on the best part....the view.)

Dental Trauma

I go for a dental check-up every six months as I can bear all kinds of physical pain but not the one that comes between me and good food!!! You go to the dentist to avoid any pain but the check-up can also be pretty painful. Let me share one very painful incident that took place during my last visit to the dentist. It did not cause any major physical pain but it was psychologically painful. It was traumatic. Here is what happened.

I went to the Smiline Dental Clinic in Srinagar Colony, Hyderabad. That is my regular dental clinic and I know the doctor pretty well. I was offered another dentist since my regular doctor was busy with another patient. However, I insisted on meeting my regular dentist, Dr. Sunitha (wish I had accepted the offer). After waiting for a few minutes, I was asked to go to Dr. Sunitha's room. I went there, we said hello to each other and then she started the examination.

After a brief examination, she told me that I have a cavity. No, no...thats not the painful part!!! With the amount of time I spend on brushing my teeth, that was pretty much expected. She told me that she can quickly do a filling. She offered to fill some 'substance' that will match the color of my teeth (remember this part). I thought that is a brilliant idea as no one will ever know about the cavity and the filling. I agreed.

She asked her assistant to bring the substance that matches the color of my teeth. The assistant went away and was back in a minute with a tray. I dont know what was the color of the substance did she bring but the doctor had one look at the tray and shouted....."not this one, bring the YELLOW one!!!!". Ouch!!!

Now I take good care of my teeth.

Postman Postman...Sir Aapki Chitthi Aayi Hai!!!

(Pondicherry, Oct 2008)

Allahabad Trip: Picture taken at Sangam

Spooky

Indian Defense Sector: 10,000 feet view

India recently successfully test fired the BrahMos cruise missile. This is a great step forward and such news does help in creating a sense of pride as well as security. But, in terms of modernization of our arms and ammunitions, where do we stand vis-a-vis the other superpowers of the world? I am no defense analyst and I have never researched upon the defense sector in India. However, having been brought-up in army cantonments, I have seen the scenario closely. Moreover, I have got opportunities to talk to the people who are directly associated and so "I think" I know a little.

I am not worried about the men in uniform. Though it is fact that the enthusiasm towards serving the Indian Army, Navy or Air Force is decreasing (and it is indeed a matter of concern), I am sure that what we have is among the best in the world. What I am more concerned about is the state of affairs when it comes to arms and ammunitions. We do develop guns, missiles etc but the frequency of new product development is very low compared to most other countries. I do not think that our INSAS and SLR rifles stand anywhere when compared to the weapons used by the soldiers of US, Russia, China etc. There is a particular program on Discovery Channel that shows "Future Weapons". Compared to those weapons, the weapons used by Indian Army are like "bows and arrows". So, where does the problem lie? Are we so backward in terms of technology that we cannot produce those weapons? I dont think so. The problem, like all problems in India, lies in the system.

Ordnance Factories in India: Pain Points

I cannot comment on all the ordnance factories in India but I have seen two of them pretty closely. The first one is the Ordnance Factory Medak. This factory makes armoured vehicles. The amount of land that this particular factory covers is enormous. I was told that two factories were supposed to come up on the alloted land however, only one came up in the end. This factory is HUGE in terms of the total area. Another interesting piece of information that I got regarding the factory is that Indian Army is the sole client of the factory and the army is hardly ordering for such vehicles. So that means the factory is not solving any purpose at all. To justify its existence to some extent, the factory works on converting ordinary vehicles to bullet-proof VIP vehicles!!!! I must say, brilliant use of the tax payers money.

The other ordnance factory that I have seen pretty closely is the Rifle Factory, Ishapore (West Bengal). The factory is the largest, if not the only, supplier of rifles to the Indian Army and other defense entities. Now, this factory does produce good rifles but what about the cost? I was told that the factory is majorly overstaffed. To add to the problems, the target given to each employee can be achieved in couple of hours. So the workers come in the morning, finish the work in a couple of hours and then discuss politics, football, mamta banerjee, bipasha basu, ravindra sangeet etc. They work the normal hours and later do overtime as well!!! There was this particular gentleman who could barely walk properly due to his old age and he had problems with his vision as well. Yet, he used to come every morning, sit under a tree and leave late in the evening. This was is daily routine. This guy used to take the normal wages as well as the overtime pay!!! And guess who pays for all this fun Me and you. So, whats the solution of all this?

Possible Solution

I was told that each rifle that is produced in Rifle Factory, Ishapore can be produced in at least one-third the cost by a private player. Privatizing the ordnance sector is a possible solution, if not the best solution. Several global defense contractors like Lockheed Martin, Raytheon etc (Time to show off my research on the US Aerospace and Defense sector) would love to pounce on the opportunities in this market. Even if we do not want to attract foreign hands, I am sure companies like Tata, Mahindra and Mahindra etc will be interested. We do not know who all will be interested as have never opened that window and looked outside (my guess is Mr. Mallya will be more than interested) but thats not the point. The point is that people will surely be interested to set up manufacturing plants in India and to serve the demands. But we must look at the pros and cons of privatizing the ordnance sector.

Privatization: Issues and Limitations

1. First and the foremost, what will happen to the thousand of workers that are presently working in the ordnance factories across India? But that can be solved. I am sure, a private player can compensate the workers much better than the Indian government presently does. Private players can associate incentives with efficiency. At least the younger workers will be (should be) interested in joining the private players. I do agree that several workers will not like this idea and would not like to work for a private player. Afterall its in us to resist any kind of change. Now, even if those workers or all the workers are asked to stay at home and are paid their salaries till the end of their working career, I think the equation will still work out to be profitable.
2. The other problem could be with the "change management". I am sure there will be several strikes as well as riots, especially when a few ordnance factories are in West Bengal. But that problem will have to be and can be dealt with strongly and strictly.
3. The existing policies and regulations will have to tweaked and going by the past track record, this can take a zillion years

Privatization: Positives (Top of the Mind)

1. Cost will be reduced and hence the defense budget will go down. The savings can be utilized in other sectors or can be used to purchase arms from other countries or can be invested in research and development
2. There will be a better management of resources (especially land)
3. The private players, with their financial might, can invest heavily in research and development. They will ensure results. This can help us in creating better weapons in India itself.
4. If the government permits, the new and better weapons, tools, equipments, vehicles can be sold outside India. These products will be cheaper as India is a low cost manufacturing location and hence will easily find market across the world (depending upon the policies of the countries)
5. Indian defense entities as well as the economy will get stronger.
6. It will give a strong message that "chalta hai" attitude is no longer acceptable

Definitely worth a try, isnt it?

Tata Indicom: Dead Horse

I recently purchased a Tata Indicom "Plug 2 Surf" USB modem. I already have a broadband connection at home but I needed a USB modem since I had some travel plans and wanted to stay connected. High hopes!!!

15 Minute Customer Delight

I called up Tata Indicom customer care to enquire about the offers and plans. I was told about a great offer and was told that an executive can deliver the modem at my door step. I was pretty happy with such service. Didnt know that it was just a bait!!!

The Actual Customer Service Starts

Villain#1 (Sales Executive): The same day, a sales executive came to my place and asked me to fill a form. I did that. Then he took the money and got up to leave!!! I asked him for the USB modem. He told me that someone else will come to verify the address and that guy will give the USB modem. Later, the customer care executive called and asked whether I have received the modem or not!!! When told about what happened, she almost scolded me for not taking the modem from the sales executive. But madam, how am I supposed to know that your executives can be cheats??? I tried calling the sales executive but he did not pick up. This happened for the most part of next day as well. Then I received a call from the customer care. I was told that I will get the modem in half an hour. After waiting for an hour and half, I called up the sales executive and he said that he will be at my place in 15 minutes. After several more calls and a couple of hours, he sent a boy with the modem. The boy knew nothing about the device, laptops, installation process etc. He just told me that he cant help much and my connection will be activated by the end of day.

Late in the night, I tried connecting the modem. Nothing happened. Then, I figured out that there is an installation CD that has been provided. For some reason, this was kept a secret!!! May be they thought that CD has documents related to national security or probably the design details of Tata Nano!!! Anyways, after installing the CD, the modem started to work....at least the signal strenth related numbers suggested that. But there was a "small" problem.....none of the sites were opening. Probably, the Tata Indicom folks thought that I have taken the connection just to check out the signal strength!!!!

I tried calling the customer care(technical)!!!! I was asked for a 10 digit number!!!! More mysteries!!!! I was never provided with a 10 digit number. I went through the manual and realised that the number is actually a phone number. Luckily I have a CDMA phone. I plugged the sim card in my phone and checked the phone number. Later, I was told by the customer care that a technician will come to my place in 12 hours. He almost admitted that someone should have communicated the phone number to me.

Villain # 2 (Technician): The technician came to my place and within 5 minutes decided that I need to format my laptop!!!! Threw some technical jargons to suggest that the problem is with my laptop. How convenient!!! I suggested him that he should try connecting the modem to his laptop. Surprise Surprise!!!! It did not work!!! Then he tried connecting his own modem to his laptop....that didnt work either. Then came the best solution. It cant work at my place so I should go outside my home to use the connection. I visualized myself sitting under a tree outside my home and checking my mails. I almost smiled. I asked him to get out. How rude of me!!!

Villain # 3 (Technical Support Call Center): I called up the technical support and asked them what shall I do now. They told me that the connection may not work at my place. In that case, I can ask for a full refund. But for that, a technician will have to report that the connection wont work at my place. I told them that a technician has already visited and he has told me that the connection wont work in my house. But the customer care exec told me that the technician has reported back that the customer is using his personal modem and there is a problem with the modem!!!! WOW!!! I told the buggers that I have purchased the modem from Tata Indicom only. Then I was told that I can go to the nearest outlet, fill a form and ask for a refund. Finally!!!

I did just that. I went to a nearby outlet but.........I was told that they cannot help me. I called up the customer care and they told me that only the executive that delivered the modem can help me with the refund!!!! And we curse the government for bureaucracy!!!!

I tried calling the executive. For the first 10 thousand times he did not pick up. Then I sent a message to him that I am going to lodge a police complaint against him. In 2 minutes he called up and told me that he was in a meeting. Not even Ratan Tata would be so busy with meetings!!! He came up with another brilliant solution. He told me that it seems that I have not installed the CD properly so he will send someone to install it!!! I told him that it says connected but none of the sites are opening. He told me that in that case, it is a problem with signal and contact technical support. He also told me that in no case will I get a refund. I called technical support and talked to them in the most colorful language that I have ever used. How rude of me!!!

Villain # 4 (Billing Team): In the evening, someone called up from the billing team and said that he can close the connection if I want. I asked that I will be more than happy but what about the refund? He told me that there wont be any refund made. And he told me that I should try taking the modem with me on the trip and it will surely work.

I did that. But, as expected, the modem/connection did not work!!!

I have thrown the modem!!!!

Lessons Learnt:

1. Never use a Tata product as the product and the customer service sucks

2. I was planning to get a Tata Sky connection but now, thats out of question

3. I should try "anulom vilom" and "pranayam". I am a BP patient and I can easily have a heart attack while dealing with customer care executives. I was on the verge of heart attacks several times during this whole process.

4. Tata Indicom has launched a new product. In its promos it shows that race horses to suggest the speed. I beg to differ. I think Tata Indicom is in the business of selling "dead horses"

4. I know solved the mystery regarding vampires and draculas. I know where are all of them now. All of them are working as customer care executives. I think the biggest eligibility criteria for becoming a customer care executive is that you must know how to suck the blood of the customers!!!!