Whenever my daughter has a test or exam, I wish her in a light-hearted way. I tell her, "do not cheat but if you must cheat, do not get caught"!
Recently, on one such occasion, she asked me if I have ever cheated. Of course, being a responsible father, I lied and told her that I have never cheated. However, it reminded me of some of the funny incidents that have happened to me related to cheating in tests or exams.
During my MBA, we also had to study Information Technology - including C++ programming and UNIX. To this day, I am not entirely sure why. Perhaps the college wanted to prepare us for every possible career path.
For the exam,
I had studied hard but had understood very little. In a moment of desperation,
I wrote one program on a small piece of paper and kept it in my pocket. I also
wrote another program on the desk where I was to sit. I had no idea what would
be asked in the exam. My objective was simple: if nothing else, I would at
least know how to begin and end a program. Yes, I was that bad in the subject.
The exam began. I turned the question paper over. Two
questions were exactly the programs I had in my pocket and on my desk. JACKPOT!!
As soon as I saw those questions, I got down to business and
started writing the answers like a well-prepared student. My friends, Dilip
Kriplani (sitting on my left) and Ritesh Kumar (sitting in front) were obviously
struggling and were looking at everyone with an expression of hopelessness and
defeat. And then they saw me…and were shocked!
Ritesh asked me if I know the answers and I nodded. With disbelief written all over his face, he
started pestering me to share the answers. I asked him to wait. This
continued for few minutes and Ritesh got restless. He turned and grabbed my
foot and violently shook it.
The invigilator saw that.
I gave Ritesh a 'cunning smile'. Ritesh clenched his teeth! After the invigilator
left, Ritesh turned back again and said few 'polite' words in frustration. Dilip and I
tried very hard not to laugh - and failed.
I completed the two programs and, using them as templates,
even attempted a third one. It turned out to be correct!!
While this is a funny incident (at least in my mind),
when I think of cheating, a different incident comes to my mind. An incident
where, unlike the previous one, I was at the receiving end.
We were in the final semester of MBA. By the final semester,
everyone starts to focus on placements rather than case studies, assignments,
tests and exams. For me and my best friend - Vikas Khaitan - nothing had
changed as we had stopped worrying about those trivial things much earlier than others.
There was a test coming up (I do not recall the subject) and, like always, we had not prepared at all. I must add that one key difference between Khaitan and me is that I would at least suggest that we should study. He never suggested these things and in fact would completely dismiss such suggestions. On this occasion as well, I suggested that we should at least make an effort to study for the test but Khaitan dismissed the idea immediately.
However, he came up with a compelling proposal and plan: his roommate, Vikram Tewari - studious, sincere, and always prepared - would sit with us, and we would copy from him. As I said, the proposal was extremely compelling and 'somehow' I could not refuse it!! We told Vikram about the plan and - being a nice guy (or may be because we were very nice guys) - he agreed.
On the day of the test, Khaitan declared the seating
arrangement: he would sit in the middle, Vikram on his left, and I on his
right. This meant I would be entirely dependent on Khaitan’s copying speed. I
voiced my concern. It was duly ignored.
The test began.
Vikram raced away like a Formula 1 driver from his pole
position. Till this time, Khaitan was still settling down and 'setting things up'. After few minutes, I leaned to
check on Vikram, who by then had almost reached the end of the first page of
his answer sheet. Then I looked at Khaitan and there he was....drawing borders –
slowly and carefully - on his answer sheet. Page after page.
I felt a cold wave of panic.
At that very moment, Khaitan started writing. I was relieved. He wrote one sentence. Then he paused. He reached into his bag and pulled out a
pink highlighter. He then proceeded to highlight the borders and the only
sentence that he had copied so far!!
By this time, Vikram had completed one full page and was staring at Khaitan's answer sheet in disbelief. For the first time, I was not alone in my anxiety.
That is how the entire test went. Vikram would complete a
page and then wait. Khaitan would copy at a leisurely pace, decorate his answer
sheet, and occasionally admire his own formatting. I tried my best not to shit bricks and not to slow
Vikram down, but I had little control.
That day, I learned an important lesson.
No, not that one should study before an exam.
I learned that if you are going to depend on someone else, choose your position carefully. From the next test onwards, I made sure I sat directly next to the studious person.
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