Stand Corrected

I was too quick to judge “One Night @ the Call Center”. I was finding the first half comparatively boring but the second half is interesting and to a great extent…..filmy. But overall it is an intelligent book. Anyone reading the book will be able to identify with one character or another. Everyone has had a boss like Bakshi at some stage in life. So the story appeals to most. Interesting read.

Two Point Someone

If you have read Chetan Bhagat's "Five Point Someone" and also know about my academic feats, you might be tempted to think that I am talking about my CGPA from MBA. It was close but it was not that low. But ya, it is related to Chetan Bhagat and his writing. I am not an avid reader. I hardly pick up books as I am a slow reader and do not have the patience. If I am interested in a story, I want to know "what happened next" as soon as possible. But it takes ages as I read slowly, visualize things, read a paragraph again and again....and in the end I get frustrated and lose interest. I know that’s weird but that’s me.

Once someone had asked me how much time will I take to finish the book "The Sixth Commandment" (I do not know why I was reading that crap just like you are wondering why you are reading this crap). I had replied, after a long pause for calculation, "two months"!!! Everyone was surprised/shocked as they were wondering how can someone take so long to finish a book and that too a mystery. I have not told anyone but honestly, I was thinking that probably people are shocked as I have underestimated the time!!! My father and sister still laugh at that incident. I am that bad at reading.

Recently someone suggested "The 3 mistakes of my life" by Chetan Bhagat. I had heard a lot about Chetan Bhagat's style of writing from several bookworms (including my wife) and some others who purchase books regularly (but hardly read them) to impress themselves (like my friend Vikas Khaitan). I had also watched a play based on Chetan's (hunh, “Chetan's”!!!! as if he is my “chaddi-buddy” (langotiya yaar)) book, "Five Point Someone". It was organized by a group called Evam in association with Madras Theatre Group. The play was brilliant, simply brilliant. That had got me interested. So, to cut the "already very long story" short, I decided to read Chetan's (there I go again) latest book "The 3 mistakes of my life".

I finished the book in a day and half!!! Then I picked up "Five Point Someone" and finished it under two days. And now I am reading "One Night @ the Call Center". I am half way through (I must say, it is not as interesting as the other two). Two and a half books in less than a week and that is why the title, 2 point someone. I am finding Chetan Bhagat's style of writing pretty interesting and I am developing an interest in reading. That should mean more than a Booker for Chetan (“Chetan”!!! That’s a hattrick!!! For me as well as him).

Até a vista Guga

If you are wondering, the title of this blog means "Good Bye Guga". Guga is how Gustavo Kuerten is popularly known as. I live in a cricket crazy nation and cricket is my favorite sport, however French Open is my favorite sports tournament. French Open is different. It shows the "class" of a tennis player. Other surfaces are all about boom-boom tennis but one cannot win the Roland Garros with just a bazooka serve (of course, Roger Federer is an artist on any surface). One has to "serve and rally" and really fight for each point on the clay. Over the years, most of my favorite tennis players have been good clay court players.....Carlos Moya, Marcelo Rios, Thomas Muster, Sergi Bruguera, Guga and now Rafa.

In 1997, an unknown player from Brazil (at least I was seeing him for the first time though it was his second appearance in the French Open) came to Roland Garros. He was different....he had curly hair, a thin frame, was dressed in yellow and blue (Brazilian football team uniform).... honestly he looked more like a drug addict than a tennis player. But he could play. He had killer ground strokes. He used to go for every ball even if it looked impossible to reach and surprisingly he used to reach them!!!

Armed with an infectious smile, it was very difficult to dislike Guga. I started liking him and wanted him to win. Guga did not let me down and he won the French Open!!! If I am not mistaken then he was ranked 66th in the world at that moment!!! After winning the grand slam, Guga came to the stage and shyly said, "Now the toughest part.....talk..."

Guga won two more French Open titles in 2000 and 2001. He spent 43 weeks at the top of the ATP rankings. His game was suited for the clay courts and he hardly won anything on other surfaces, except a couple of tournaments here and there on hard court. His career was plagued with injuries and his career virtually ended after the right hip injury and subsequent surgery in 2002. (Ya, he did beat Roger Federer to reach the quarterfinals in 2004). This year, he came back for his farewell tour....a farewell that he deserved. He might have lost in straight sets in the first round but this loss ended in a standing ovation. A tribute to a champion player and a great personality. We will all miss you Guga.

Who let the dogs out?

Seems India has recently developed three hobbies; IPL, watching the news of Khali (pardon me, I mean "The Great Khali") and bashing one Mr. Amitabh Bachchan. Around 50% Indians are interested in Khali, around 70% are watching IPL (or the cheerleaders) but whats astonishing is that all the "extra-successful" Indians (the achievers) are bashing Mr. Bachchan. Take, for example, the Golden Globe winning director, Anurag Basu. The director recently criticized Amitabh Bachchan for the kind of roles he is doing. Basu believes that the whole magic of Mr. Bachchan has gone now and he should gracefully retire!!! Coming from such an acclaimed director, the opinion should be taken seriously.

Then there is Khalid Mahmud, reknowned film critic and award winning director (his extraordinary collection of work includes Oscar winning movies, Silsilay and Tehzeeb, which are considered the benchmarks for direction). Khalid recently wrote an open letter to Mr. Bachchan suggesting that Mr. Bachchan should go back to the film institute for a refresher course!!!! Another achiever talking against Mr. Bachchan!!! Thats strike two!!!

There are several other prominent and legendary personalities who have come forward to bulldoze Mr. Bachchan but no one is as important as the man who transformed Mumbai into Shanghai....the man who solved Mumbai's poverty, pollution, population, drainage etc problems. It is one and only.....Raj Thackeray. This leader of masses has one and only one agenda and that is to remove the biggest problem that an average Mumbaikar is facing today.....Amitabh Bachchan. He does not care about other issues as they are not "hot" enough. I am not updated....by any chance, are the elections round the corner?

The fact is that pointing finger at Mr. Bachchan is a ticket to instant fame. Mr. Bachchan is a global personality. If he sneezes, it will be a news.....if he laughs, it will be a news.....if he is bitten by a blood-sucking mosquito, it will again be a news and the mosquito will be discussed by a billion Indians across the globe. The blood-sucking mosquitos discussed above know this "marketing" strategy and are playing their cards well. But it is good to know that Mr. Bachchan is not keeping quiet and is replying through his blog. Mr. Bachchan, I may not matter, but I am with you. Kitne baazu kitne sar ginle dushman dhyaan se......haarega woh har baazi jo khele hum ji jaan se!!!

Most em"bare"ssing moment of my life

Let me share with my trillions of readers (scotch has gone to my head) the most embarrassing moment of my life. Or should I say the most em"bare"ssing moment of my life.

It was 2006. I was staying on the outskirts of Hyderabad (a lot of my friends will find this an understatement). It was a Saturday morning. A friend, who had stayed at my place in the night (stop your imagination), was about to leave. I asked him if he could drop me to my office as I wanted to spend some time in the gym (my marriage was a few months away and I was trying to shed those extra kilos (read quintals)). The plan was that I would spend some time in the gym, take a shower over there and then directly go to a mall where the same friend would meet me for lunch. I got ready and we started on my friend's bike. Now lets discuss some facts;

1. The bike was a Hero Honda CBZ (nothing important over there)
2. The bike was low on fuel (important information)
3. The helmet was hanging behind the bike in such a manner that if anyone had to sit behind the rider, he had to lift his legs really really high to clear the helmet (keep that in mind; extremely crucial to the story)
4. I was not wearing the gym cloths and they were in the bag, along with a towel and a bottle of water (keep that in mind)
5. I was wearing a black trouser (not important, however now I wish I were wearing a "lungi")
6. The trouser was slightly tight (keep that in mind)
7. My house was on the outskirts (Thank God!!!)

Midway in our journey, the bike ran out of fuel. We were in the middle of nowhere and the nearest petrol pump was 6-8 kms away. We started pushing the bike. We must have pushed it for half a km when my friend suggested that we try tilting the bike, shaking it and starting it. Sometimes it works...for a short while. But that is better than pushing the bike. He tried that and bingo!!! It started!!! I jumped on the back seat and we started again, hoping to make it to the petrol pump. Just when we hit a comparatively busier road, the bike stopped again. We had covered only about a quarter of a km. It was a hopeless situation and we decided that one of us will take an autorickshaw, get petrol in a bottle and come back. We did do that but later (Why God???!!!!Why!!!!).

As I was about to leave to get an autorickshaw, my friend tried to kick start the bike again. And the damn thing started!!!! I got really excited and lifted my leg (really high, remember fact 3) to get on the bike. Just then there was a roaring sound (Charrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaakkkk) that was followed by a real nice, breezy feeling on my legs....thighs and above!!!! I wondered what caused that sound and then I looked down on my trousers. It seemed as if a nuclear device was tested on my trouser, it had exploded.......believe you me, I am not at all exaggerating it. Why would I exaggerate anything like this. The only piece that was holding my trouser to my body was the strip around the waste where one puts the belt. Below that strip, the trouser was "hanging" in four different parts, not attached to one another.

There I was, standing on the roadside with four pieces of cloth hanging to my belt!!!! No wonder I was feeling brrrrrreeeeezy!!!! I went numb and was about to faint. Just then I remembered the gym bag on my shoulder. I immediately took out the towel, covered myself and put on the trek pants......all that on the roadside, much to the amusement of the passers-by. And how can I forget....during my ordeal, my so-called good friend was busy recording all this on his mobile camera (thankfully he lost the video)!!!!

Till now, whenever I think about that incident, it gives me goose flesh. What if I was not going to the gym, what if it had happened on a busy street......I would have probably killed myself afterwards.

Based on a true story

Flashback # 1: The year is 1995. I am in class 10th....standing in front of a heavily built teacher....looking at my not-so-clean shoes....and....listening to some heavy-duty "gyan". Some of my friends are standing behind a pillar and are giggling. The teacher is telling me that one day I will regret everything. She is predicting that most of the people I hang out with will end up being "no one" but they wont regret it as nobody has any expectations from them anyways....however, if I fail, I will regret it, and so will everyone who knows me...as I have the potential......blah blah blah followed by some more blah blah blah.

I am thinking that it is just some crappy useless advise which teachers....and parents....are supposed to give!!!! Otherwise they will not be called good teachers or good parents. But ya, I agree with her on the "I have the potential" part. Remaining part of that gyan is absolutely boring bullshit.

Flashback #2: The year is 1999. I am in second year college. I have met a classmate from class 10th. He is working with a courier company as a delivery boy!!! He is telling me about the others from the gang. I come to know that one guy is running a small time grocery shop in the outskirts of Ranchi, another one is simply doing nothing (ya, he is doing drugs but for discussion sake, let us not count that!!!), one guy is a member of an extortion gang and to top it all....one guy is in jail for attempted murder!!!! I get a shock and I am thinking that now it is high time that I get my act straight or else I will join this elite list. I resolve to get serious about my life.

Scene 3: It is April 10, 2008. (Oh c'mon!!!! don't think that I became really really serious after the incident in "Flashback # 2", became immensely successful and made tonnes of money!!!! This is not a script of a bollywood potboiler in which a zero turns into a hero. But ya, I did recover well enough to rejoin the race).

Coming back to the scene.....I am sitting in a movie hall.....watching an emotional scene about an old and helpless father and a son who does not care. I am realising that I am not doing enough for my parents. I want to do so much for them but I am not doing anything. After that I become very very emotional.

Cut to the present moment. Here I am, writing my feelings....hoping that no one reads them....yet for some strange reason, am writing on a "free-for-all-to-read" kind of space.

I have seen so many people who have all the resources but they do not do anything for their parents. And then there are people (read losers) like me who want to do so much for their parents but are not able to do much. Not that parents expect anything materialistic from their children...at least not mine. All they look for is love and affection. I do try my best to make my parents feel loved but I want to do so much more. I want to give my parents all the happiness. I want to give them the life they could have led if they did not have the constraints....and much more. Thats the destination, the ultimate milestone. But right now I do not have the fuel that will take me there....in fact, I am not even close!!!! I am trying my best and will do all that I can. But sometimes, like today, I go back to "Flashback # 1" and regret everything.