I can well imagine the reactions on the faces of all the hypocritical people around me but I would still be true to myself and confess that I have been secretly praying for my grandmother to pass away.
Well...if you are one from the family and feeling bad.....ask yourself...is it not too convenient for you? Staying away from the day to day issues and feeling bad for her over some tea and snacks is just too easy for all of you. There are some who pretend that they care, pretend that they want to take care of her, listen to her cribbing over the phone and join her in opposing the decision of my parents to plan a trip to my place. Later they send a text to her with a poem or a filmy song indicating how much they care and how they will always take care of her. After this, they return to their life and priorities!!! Brilliant!!! If you do not like what I am saying.....first look at yourself. At least I am not pretending anything.
You have your own priorities, functions to attend, birthdays to celebrate. I am not blaming you for that. I am not mad at you because you have a life. I will be mad at you only if you pretend that you do not like what I am praying for.
There are two souls who have no life, have to stay away from their children and grandchild, deal with all the tantrums of my grandmother, hear all her curses and still sit with her with a smile to play a game of cards. That is unfair. You do not have to deal with all this. You do not WANT TO deal with all this. So shut up and go back to your parties.
I know my father will be hurt if he comes to know about this. I once did say this to him and he became sad and asked me not to say that as she is his mother. I must say I was surprised (after all my family has gone through because of my grandmother) but did try to understand his feelings. However now, it is way too painful. I can see them suffering each day as they want to spend sometime with their grandchild. But they cannot. There is only one solution that I can think of and I am praying for that. Period!!!
